14 October 2002
PRO-GE LOBBYIST GETS A PIE IN THE FACE
Wellington, October 14
This morning the public face of the Pro GE lobby group New Zealand Life Sciences Network (LSN), William Rolleston, was on the receiving end of a hand-to-face pie.
PUBLIC FACE OF GE TARGETED BY INTERNATIONAL BAKING CONSORTIUM
Wellington, October 14
This morning the public face of the Pro GE lobby group New Zealand Life Sciences Network (LSN), William Rolleston, was on the receiving end of a hand-to-face pie. The meticulously planned operation left Rolleston licking his lips just minutes before the AGM of the LSN at the Westpac Trust Stadium.
The full facial presentation was made by underground bakers of the Pacific Division of the Biotic Baking Brigade (BBBPD) in response to LSN's lobbying for the engineering of closer inter-special relationships by breaking down natural barriers between man and animal.
Special Agent Puha of the BBBPD said: "He was pied for a number of offences including support of Ag Research in their transgenic servicing of the controversial Waikato dairy herd; pushing for dismissal of public and scientific concerns; milking public hopes for medical wonder-drugs; and for general attempts to turn bullshit into cream for human consumption. All in all he was a prime candidate for receiving strategic pastry."
The pie was specially ordered to fit the particular requirements of the target. Ingredients included cow by-products, GE plant derived oil and starches, as well as spices, emulsifiers and preservatives.
The preparations for the incident began after the Pacific Division of the Biotic Baking Brigade (BBBPD) had received orders from headquarters in the Californian Redwoods to conduct "Operation: Magpie" on an executive of the Life Sciences Network. Several Special Agents were actively taking part in the infiltration of the location. There were no losses amongst the agents.
Rolleston is one of several apologists of the GE industry that have been targeted in pastry uprising throughout the world for crimes against truth, language, democracy and nature. Others include Bob Shapiro the former Monsanto CEO; Canadan Prime Minister Jean Chretien and Keith Campbell, creator of Dolly the cloned sheep and co-author of the modest book 'The Second Creation'.
In the words of Special Agent Puha: "The claims of the LSN have been flying in the face of international concern and common sense for several years. Now that the tables are turned they cannot wipe their faces clean anymore. If they try - we will pie.
Note to the editor:
The BBBPD has recently established a network of locally owned organic bakeries throughout the country. It has links to 48 divisions internationally, and has successfully inserted recipes in over 1500 published recipe books in eight different languages.
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